Today, I visited the “Florista” shop at 106th Street, between Lexington and 3rd Avenue. A lovely Mexican couple own the shop together, and they smiled warmly but silently at me as I gazed in from the cold Spanish Harlem streets. Inside, I was immediately greeted by a gust of warm and musty air like the jungle exhibit at the Botanical Gardens.
First, I asked the couple what plant specimens they would suggest for growing in an apartment in NYC – something durable and hearty; optimally one that can take a little negligence once in a while.
Agreeable nods, followed by puzzled looks.
Second, I asked them if they could show me some plants in their shop that are of the same species but at different stages of development, since I want to find a plant that grows relatively quickly and changes a lot over the course of a year.
More agreeable nods. No verbal response.
When it became clear that my words weren’t getting across at all, ”¿Sería mejor si hable en español?” I asked them, “Would it be better if I spoke in Spanish?”
(My Spanish isn’t too hot anymore – it’s been a couple of years since I’ve given it good industrial use. But this much got across okay.)
“¡Si, mucho mejor!” the woman answered me, and immediately she became very animated and very happy. She and her husband proceeded to show me around the store, as I jibbered and jabbered (and danced) my questions again to them in a hyperactive semblance of Spanish.
The two fell upon these plants, “Mahneetalee,” they told me it was called. Several gorgeous babies all in a row: “¡Importado de China!”
“¡Muy facile!” they assured me: super-easy, you can’t screw this up. They grow to be up to seven feet tall.
But I had wanted a seed. A seed that I can nurture all the way up.
“Home depot.” No semillas aquí.
Okay. I took some pictures.
I’m still not convinced that this is the way to go. I’m going to do some more plant research online at the Home Depot website. But I’ll keep this option in mind. Since it takes a long time for a seed to germinate, and there’s a high probability of seeds not germinating at all, it may be worth it to go with a baby plant from China that is already sturdy and half-grown.
I thanked the couple and left the store. Across the street, in the big brick buildings and basketball courts of the Franklin Plaza Housing Projects where I grew up, is the apartment where I am currently living again with my family. As I was leaving, a Chinese delivery man entered with several heavy boxes in a pushcart.
“How’s business?” he asked the couple.
“No good. Very bad.” El receso hits everyone hard.
Outside the winter wind blows past a huge pile of throw-away Christmas trees, with half a whiff of holiday cheer and half a whiff of garbage, in front of the shiny new Chase bank, the second shiny bank to replace the Blockbuster’s Video Store that used to be there while I was growing up. The first bank shut down a few months ago.
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2010: The seed, the idea
Does talking to your plant make it grow better? Does talking nicely to your plant make it grow more nicely than talking trash?
Here is my proposed experiment for 2010:
- I will grow three identical houseplants in my apartment in New York City
- I will talk very nicely to one plant: teach it to value fine beauty and good ethics, give it an elite private school-quality education (iTunes University), give it nourishing compliments for every little bit of progress it makes in its precious development, and even play Mozart for it.
- I will talk trash to the other plant: diss it constantly, put it in front of the TV (Jerry Springer), divorce its father, leave it in the basketball court after school, and every time the plant annoys me, I will slap it around and remind the plant how it has completely ruined my life.
- I will leave a third plant to grow in silence.
I will document the process over the course of a year – with baby photos, measurements, and all the good stuff.
I will also introduce the plants to various characters in NYC, who will talk nicely or talk trash to the plants, according to their respective manner of upraising. I will ask each character for the meaning of life, and how to raise a good apple in NYC. These characters include:
- Local homeless man
- Catholic Priest
- Marxist revolutionary
- Columbia University Economics professor
- Stripper lady
- Stripper dude (and BET break dancer)
- Wall Street banker
- Lower East Side artist/musician
- Rykers Island Scared Straight dude in jail
- Plastic surgeon for TV stars
- Freegans in a Brooklyn dumpster
- Taxi driver
- Limo driver
- Subway conductor
- Mole person
…and the list continues…365 days, at least one post per week.
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This first week, I am researching the types of house plants that would be most conducive to this project. I want to grow this plant from seed, and I need it to be somewhat hearty like a New Yorker, resistant to the stresses of weather, wear-and-tear, and spit polish.
Ideas?
I’m thinking: mother-in-law-tongue, or tomato plant (with Dominoes pizza delivery bag when I move it outside), or African violet.